So I guess I need to get you caught up!  Leading up to finals I was a mess.  I knew I needed at least a 75% to pass, but everyone was like the final is hard blah blah blah....so I was really stressed about it. I studied my butt off and I ended up with an 80% on the final yay!! Nursing school is done and I have passed. 

Now to bring you up to speed, it's almost a month later, after some drama, I finally got my ATT so I could schedule my NCLEX.  So I'm ready to go for June 14th. I'm confident I'll be fine, the next day is my graduation.  I wish they could announce me as a RN but they test results aren't final until 3 days later.  Oh well.

So now where to work?? I've already been turned down by 3 hospitals.  Mind you, I already work in an ER here in San Diego so I was hoping something would happen for me here.  After speaking with the COO of our area, I was assured there would be a new grad program.  Yes there is going to be one, for the FLOOR, 3 positions for DOU and the other 25 for med surg.  Great, I don't care anymore I just want to work.  However, the COO informs me today that they are not having a new grad program for the ER, and won't be in the foreseeable near future.  She also informed me that there were 600+ applicants for the floor and yeah only 28 spots.  I asked the UNAC union rep would I be a clear transfer since I'm an employee, guess what, NO. I'm basically thrown in with all the external applicants. So now not only are my hopes of being in the ER deflated, I now am in competition with 600 other people. 

I'm so disappointed!  I did everything possible to set myself up for ER medicine. This is where I want to be, I feel emergency medicine down to my bones.  I don't mind going to the floor, I'll work where ever I can at this point. But I'm still allowed to grieve and be sad about my loss of not being able to get into the ER.

I know that I need to stay positive and I need to be grateful that I even have a job and truly I am.  But I'm allowed to be hurt, upper management made all these promises and now it's all falling through the cracks.....and I feel like they could care less. They don't care about how hard I've worked, they don't care that I did everything possible to make sure that I had a career in EMS, that I have patient care experience on so many levels and most of all they don't care that they have dashed my hopes of being an ER RN. 

Hopefully this job comes through on the floor.  I don't want my education and nursing school experience to go to waste.  Plus I need to start working as a nurse, those student loans are going to be coming due!! 

Till next time, I will keep you posted.  Thanks for reading :)